Others, however, are meant to be repeat partners — maybe even your forever love. Perhaps you broke up years ago — or just last month. Either way, you wonder if they’re “the lover who got away.” So today, we’re looking at signs that will help you answer the question: Is my ex the one? If you’re questioning your decision to split, settle in. Let’s get down to the bottom of your situation together.
Is My Ex My Soulmate?
Are you questioning whether your ex is actually one of your soulmates? What if they’re not my soulmate? What if they are? Should I tell my ex how I feel? It’s a common question considering about 50% of couples get back together after breaking up. Sometimes it’s out of convenience, but other times it’s a soulmate situation. When it’s the latter, there’s a high chance the two of you:
Understand each other intenselyParted ways for silly reasonsHave similar senses of humorFeel at peace with one anotherHave successfully weathered serious ups and downs together
26 Signs You and Your Ex Are Meant to Be
Let’s explore 26 signs you should get back with your ex.
1. You Can’t Hate Them
No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to hate them — nor let them go. Sure, they messed up when you were together. But the bottom line is that they’re a fundamentally good person. In your eyes, they’re always the exception. If this characterizes your feelings about your ex, getting back together may not be out of the question. Warning: Don’t confuse the desire to be with someone — anyone — for genuine compassion. They’re not the same thing. In fact, they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum.
2. You Still Laugh Together
Do you laugh more when your ex is around? Do your senses of humor click like a nut and bolt? If you still crack up together, it may signal that you’re each other’s “lobster.” Warning: Humor is important, but it’s not the end-all-be-all. Someone may crack you up. But if they don’t respect your personhood — or they’re a serial cheater — think twice.
3. They’re a Soulmate
Many folks think we only have one soulmate. That’s incorrect. In truth, we all have multiple soulmates who pop in and out of our lives. Moreover, soulmates don’t need to be romantic partners. (We only have one twin flame each lifetime, though.) If you’ve done the research and have every reason to believe the person you’re considering taking back qualifies as a soulmate, then maybe it’s time to reunite. Warning: Don’t fall for scams where a mountebank promises to draw a picture of your soulmate. If you want to support artists, that’s great – but don’t put too much stock in their rendition’s details.
4. They Always Know What To Say
Does your ex always know what to say to make you feel better? Can they whip out the perfect joke or comforting missive exactly when you need it? It’s wonderful, non? If your former partner is the person who always gets it right…still…they may be worth a second go. Warning: Charming, manipulative people are also great at reading a room — and people. So be careful out there.
5. They’re Genuinely Sorry
Here’s a fact: every person on this planet messes up. There’s no such thing as a perfect human. Every individual lives a life sprinkled with missteps. So if you broke up because of one of those mistakes, it’s worth taking a step back and reconsidering if splitting was appropriate. Also, ask yourself if your ex is demonstrating regret. Are they genuinely sorry? A reconciliation may be in the cards if the answer is a quick yes. Warning: Ensure you’re not the type who points fingers but never notices the ones pointing back at you.
6. Your People Still Adore Them
Do your parents and siblings still ask about your ex? Has teasing you about reconnecting with the “one that got away” become a treasured family pastime? Or better yet, do you have a sneaky suspicion your “crew” still keeps in touch with your former flame? If this all rings a bell, it may signify you’re supposed to get back together. Warning: Be careful of narcissists! They’re great at convincing other people that they were the wronged party. Moreover, friends and family may not always put your happiness first, and they’ll push you toward someone for superficial reasons.
7. You’re Both Single
You’ve decided to give it another try. But before stepping back into the relationship, ensure your recidivist paramour is single! You, too! If either of you is seeing someone, just break up with them before getting back together. Ending things may be unpleasant. After all, you don’t like to hurt people. However, carrying on an affair is crueler. Warning: Beware of liars. Some people may insist they’re not seeing someone else but are. Due diligence is your friend!
8. You Always Compare New Prospects
Are you comparing everyone you date to a former flame? Is nobody measuring up? Do you find something wrong with every single person you date? First, remember the popular saying: comparison is the thief of joy, and try not to subject other people to unproductive comparisons. However, it may be time to explore a reunion if this behavior has become a pattern. Warning: Try not to idealize past relationships in an attempt to quell loneliness.
9. You Can Handle Naysayers
Nowadays, it’s impossible to get away from other people’s opinions. In some ways, it’s good; in others, it’s a nightmare of ax-murdering proportions. However, being able to handle the chatter is a sign a reunion could be on the horizon. That’s not to say you shouldn’t consider advice from people who care deeply about you. Sometimes they have a better view of things than you. Warning: Ensure you’re not returning to an unhealthy situation just because you like being part of a couple. Furthermore, don’t go back if there’s a history of abuse.
10. You Admire Each Other
After a breakup, do you typically chastise yourself with thoughts like “What was I thinking!?” Is that not happening with the person under consideration? If not, you may still have miles to run — together. Genuine admiration and respect are hard to come by, and they’re sensational foundations for any relationship. Warning: Don’t confuse material anxiety for genuine respect and admiration. Stare yourself down if the only reason you want them back is because of their bank account. If so, ask yourself if you deserve better. (Answer: You do.)
11. The Breakup Was Hard
Was the breakup excruciating because you still love each other, and conflicting life logistics are the only thing keeping you apart? Did it take a long time for both of you to move on after splitting? If you’re nodding your head up and down — (or you just shouted “YES!” at the screen) — the relationship may not have reached the finish line yet. Many people split up because of distance or work schedules, and after being apart for a bit, some folks discover they’d rather make it work than move on. Warning: If you believe in monogamy, never agree to an open relationship. It never works out.
12. Checking in on Each Other
Do they still pop into your texts? Slide into your DMs? Are you always talking about your ex and vice versa? If that’s an affirmative, you may want to hold off on that cord-cutting ritual. Sure, some people are better as buddies and easily transition into a platonic-but-caring friendship. But if a flame still burns bright, and you get the tingles in each other’s presence, it may still be “on.” Warning: Don’t confuse lust with love. If you’re okay with casual sex, use protection, have fun, and keep it light. Go the friends with benefits route. But there’s no need to get casual when one person wants to get serious and the other does not. It’s Looking Like Your Relationship Is Over: 11 Signs It Probably Is Does He Love Me? 23 Clear Signs He Does Missing Your Ex-Girlfriend? 19 Surefire Ways To Get Her Back
13. Drunk Dialing
Without fail, your ex drunk dials (or texts) you every Friday and Saturday night. Or maybe they do the honors on Friday, and you return the favor on Saturday. Whatever the schedule, you can’t get each other off your mind. They say “in vino veritas” — or, to put it more crudely, “when people are drunk, they tell the truth.” Warning: Drunk dialing isn’t always about true love. Sometimes, it’s 100% about actual lust.
14. It’s Not About Loneliness
Remember how we said about 50% of couples that break up get back together? Well, a lot of those reunions are rooted in familiarity and loneliness. People settle for what they know instead of holding out for an adoring, compatible mate. So before backpedaling, think long and hard about whether your decision is based on shaky ground. Warning: Loneliness does a great job masquerading as love. Make sure you get it right by enlisting a therapist or relationship life coach that can help you navigate the decision.
15. Both Checking In With Mutual Friends
Do your friend groups still cross over a bit? Are they always asking after you, and you them? It’s a good sign you’re both poking around one another. Warning: If they’re always bad-mouthing you to mutual friends, it may mean they’re deeply in love. But occasionally, it just means they’re a pathetic, plume-plucked pignut — and you don’t need one of those in your life.
16. Still Spend Time Together
If you’re still spending time together — and still sleeping with each other — are you really broken up? You still blow up each other’s phone and social media, find yourselves dining together at least once a week, and you’re each other’s designated date for weddings and work events. Sure, maybe the contours of the relationship have become a little more flexible, but otherwise, it feels like nothing has changed. Warning: These types of relationships can get super complicated in a snap. Do yourself a favor and figure out what you want. If it’s more than you’re getting, and you’re the unfilled one, it’s probably time to move on.
17. Realized Grass Isn’t Greener
You broke up and got back out there. Now you realize you made a big mistake — HUGE! You’ve discovered the dating scene in your area is infested with hedge pigs, miscreants, and canker blossoms. You’re ready to tuck in your tail and head home. The outside filth storm helped you realize that molehills aren’t mountains. We get it. We really, really do. Who hasn’t been there at some point? In these extreme circumstances, do what you gotta do. Warning: These types of relationships are a temporary stopgap. Nothing more! Make that promise to yourself.
18. You’re Experiencing Deja Vu
Deja vu is a powerful sensation — but a great omen! In the broadest sense, it means your life is on the right track. Think of it as a pat on the back from the Universe or higher self. If you experience intense deja vu, try to write down your memories. You may begin to notice patterns developing. Warning: Deja vu can signal several spiritual events, so don’t automatically assume it’s a beacon back to an estranged lover.
19. You Still Love Each Other
If the question “why am I still in love with my ex?” regularly rushes through your head, and you have the answer, you’re probably still in love. If they are, too, then heck, if nothing is standing in your way, why not? Yes, some people get back together for the wrong reasons. But some end up partnering for the rest of their lives. Warning: If you still have deep feelings for your ex, it’s not fair to date other people searching for a serious commitment.
20. Ended on Loving Terms
You ended things on good terms. You were still in love in many ways, but the logistics weren’t right. The decision was excruciating, but hard feelings didn’t play a factor. You both just knew it wasn’t the right time. If you still feel like you were meant to be after all these years, who knows? Maybe you were. Warning: If you look them up and they seem happy with someone else, let it rest. If it’s meant to be, you’ll both be single.
21. You’ve Worked on Yourself
It’s an annoying cliche, but it’s true: You can’t build a successful, healthy relationship if you haven’t done work on yourself. Identify your triggers, massage fears out of your system, and do lots of shadow work to cleanse your energetic system. Learn how to love yourself. When you get through the muck, it may be time to return to each other’s arms. Warning: Don’t change to please other people’s unfair expectations or standards. For example, if you hate to cook, and they insist you become a top chef or they’ll leave you, strap on your sneaks, then run far, far away.
22. You Defend Them
Your friends talk trash about them, but you still have their back. This is classic “getting back together” energy. No matter how much they messed up, you cannot help yourself. You forgive them. Sometimes this dynamic is endearing. Other times it’s dangerous. Assess your situation objectively and decide where you land. Warning: Being addicted to a person is not healthy. So ensure you’re not there.
23. Still Hold Onto Belongings
Their things are still at your house and vice versa. You’ve both made feeble attempts to get them back, but it wasn’t a top priority. Why? A part of you always knew you’d end up back together. Take it as a sign and consider re-tying the knot. Warning: The belongings shuffle isn’t always a surefire indicator.
24. You’ll Regret Not Trying
Will you regret not giving it another shot? Do you think you’ll pine away for this particular paramour years into the future? How can you figure it out? Set your imagination forward ten years. In this scenario, you never gave the relationship another shot. One day, in our make-believe world, you bump into each other on the street. They have a good-looking other half and are grinning from ear to ear. You, too, have a partner. What do you do? Weep for five days or wish them well and forget about the encounter the second you part ways? The relationship may not have run its course if it’s the former. Warning: Don’t go back if your ex was abusive. Not convinced? Search the term “battered woman syndrome fatalities.”
25. They Still Cross Your Mind
Yes, you’ve moved on in some ways. And yet, the person in question still crosses your mind. To put it another way, you carry a piece of them with you even though the relationship ended a while back. You may see something that reminds you of them, or they frequently pop up in your dreams. All of it may add up to a sign that you’re meant to be together. Warning: Humans sometimes go through stages where they’d rather be partnered up, no matter what, even with an incompatible person. Think long and hard if someone is genuinely suitable for you.
26. Your Lives Are Aligning
You initially broke up over logistics. Maybe one of you left to study abroad, try a new job, or follow the surf. Or perhaps one of you had to overcome an addiction. Since then, the circumstances have changed. You now find yourselves healthy and back in the same place simultaneously. You’ve become more compatible during the years apart. It may not be a coincidence; it may be a sign. Warning: Old lovers can sometimes be tempting, but they’re often only right for a time.
Final Thoughts
Don’t give up hope! The reunion statistics are on your side. However, don’t try to push something that’s not happening or cling to someone who’s happily moved on. Your person is on the way. Simply pamper and work on yourself; if you do, a soulmate may just show up when you least expect it.
